The desperate wait towards END....

The journey in Singapore had been a memorable one. Each passing day, I relished being in SPJCM; being amongst people whom I called friends. When I was about to leave for Dubai to complete the second term, I used to think that the amount of enjoyment that I would have in Dubai would be even more; more so because I was going to stay with like minded people.

However, there seems to be a paradigm shift in Dubai. Things haven’t been the way that I had anticipated. Nothing seems to be the way I wanted it to be; the place, the system or the city. The ease with which I got mixed with the culture in Singapore and got adjusted there seems to have no bearing here. I still feel being all alone out here in the crowd!!

When I try to find a reason for this disassociation with this place and the desperation to move away; I am introspecting myself under the microscope. I am trying to find what made me gel so well in Singapore that I fail to replicate in Dubai. I think there is certain internal turbulence that is bothering me the most. Unfortunately, I don’t think I have the word power to express it. It’s the uncertainty that drilling deep inside me and making me hollow from within. The saddest part of eh entire thing being that I am not sure what lies ahead in future and if things would materialize as desired.

This feeling along with the anxiety of placements is slowly gripping me in its clutches. This is kind of suffocating me from within, and I have no one who can help me around with the same. Probably, this is making me do a backward counting with the desperation to end my term here largely written over my face. My shoulders drooping and my motivational levels hitting rock bottom because of all this. All that I am left out with is a desperate and anxious wait for the END to approach….!!!